Seeking support
We know from other autistic young people that asking for help can feel difficult and sometimes overwhelming- but it is a sign of strength.
You deserve to get the support you need and even if you are not sure exactly what you want help with, take the first step. That is often the most difficult one, but the most important. Lots of people find it difficult to ask for help. You are not alone.
There may be for a number of reasons that asking for help can be difficult, a few of them being:
- Not knowing who to talk to.
- Not knowing what to say.
- Not sure what you need help with.
- Not sure what help is available.
- Worrying about what the next steps may be.
- Worrying about the other persons’ response.
- Feeling like a burden to others.
You may relate to some of these reasons, or none at all. This is okay! Everybody has a unique experience, all of which are important.
It can be difficult to know where to start, so here are a few practical tips to have a think about.
Before asking for help:
One of the first steps would be to think of who to speak to- maybe someone you already know and trust. It can be helpful to think about what you want to say and keep it simple. Tell them you need help with something. Tell them what you are having difficulty with.
Don’t be afraid to say what you don’t want, as well as what you do want. For example, “I need help with something”. “I do want to speak to someone about it, but I don’t want to speak to someone I don’t know”.
- Can you think of a time you felt really helped with something? What was it that was helpful?
- Maybe write some main points down so you can refer to them when you are asking for help.
- Think of a trusted adult who you feel most able to communicate with.
During asking for help:
- Remember that people often want to support you in any way they can. They are there to listen and not judge you.
- If you prefer writing things down, then you can say so.
- If you need time to process information, or you want information in writing, you can ask. You deserve to get help in a way that works for you!
- If you are worried about something specific when asking for help, don’t be afraid to say.
- Ask for clarification for next steps from the person you are speaking to. Writing a plan may be helpful.
- Ask as many questions as you need to.
After asking for help:
- Be proud of yourself for reaching out. You have taken a positive step!
- Try doing something to self-soothe:
- Engage in an interest.
- Use sensory tools to regulate.
- Have some time to decompress.
- Check in with an adult if you are feeling overwhelmed.